Don't get me wrong, my friends are a kick-ass group of thoughtful and generous individuals, all of whom would rather inconvenience themselves by having me sleepover than stand by and watch me wait for a cab home late at night. And yet, I never accept.

Until now, I have always made excuses for why I'd rather suffer the journey home than wake up in a bed that isn't my own. Today is the day I come clean, friends. Remember that I love you guys and I am grateful for every single one of you. It's not you, it's me. OK, let's get into it:

1 - No one EVER has face wash. There are wipes, cleansers, tonics, shower gel aplenty. But no face wash. Waking up with with caked on party/camera flash friendly make-up still half on and not being able to stick to your cleansing routine sucks.

2 - Morning after the night before requires lying perfectly still for hours bargaining with Jesus about the severity of my headache. Being in a friend's home requires a mild amount of social skills. You can't just be sick where you lay. You have to excuse yourself. EFFORT.

3 - I can't shower without some basic amenities: shower cap, body poof, and (most importantly) lotion. Ashy is never a good look, especially when your poor body is already suffering a moisture deficit. I have friends who use shampoo for everything. I am not about that life.

4 - I am lazy. I don't want to get up and do things/travel around/get dressed on the best of days, imagine how much less that appeals when hungover. If I wake up at home, I know my journey is complete. I want for nothing. Except maybe an en-suite and a butler in the buff to feed me mcmuffins...but I digress.

5 - I am too old for the sofa. I've known this for a while and I'm ok with that. As you get older too, you'll start having moments of clarity about what your body can and can't get down with. I need to be comfortable at all times. Floors, sofas, 5 in a bed, futon, chairs, no. Just...just no.

So there you have it folks. When I turn down your offer of staying the night, it's not because I don't want to spend more time with you. Quite the opposite! It's because I want to spend more time with me :D.

Love you for reading! Until next time.


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