" 30 "

I've turned 30.

In all honesty, I don't know how this happened. It feels like only yesterday I was 17 and navigating my new life all alone in this wonderful foreign land. Today, I'm 30 and contemplating how the hell that came by so fast.

It's not like I've sat around dreading this day. Far from it. I didn't really twig that this milestone bday was coming up until New Year's day 2015. Since then, I've been feeling restless for no palpable reason. I quite literally have nothing to complain about. I'm as lucky as they come (and extremely grateful for my lot in life). 

I have a happy life, I LOVE my job, I have a spectacularly supportive and wonderful family, my friends are just the best, and I can't remember the last time I was genuinely bored. See? No complaints.

So why so restless?

There is a palpable sense of FOMO that's washed over me and apparently I'm not alone. I just can't shake the feeling that I haven't done enough with my life, despite having achieved just about every goal I've set for  myself since I was 16.

I moved to a foreign country alone knowing no one before I was old enough to legally drink, I got my degree, I landed jobs at 2 of the companies I'd only ever dreamed of working for, I've traveled extensively, I've loved (and been loved) excessively, I've assembled several badass groups of friends, and I've partied like it's going out of style. Even with the mistakes I've made along the way, my twenties were pretty epic.

So where is this pressure coming from?

I truly don't know.

Could be from comparing ourselves to others, could be from genuine regret at missed opportunities, or it could just be that pesky ambition within us "millennials" that wants EVERYTHING and more.

I certainly don't feel any older than I have in the last decade or so but things are definitely changing somewhat. My body's limitations are becoming more apparent - i.e. hangovers now last about 3 days longer despite often struggling to stay out past last tube, my back is more susceptible to pain, and the wrinkles are far more resistant to moisturiser than they ever were before. Mentally, I've noticed my patience and tolerance for the asinine fading fast. I've accepted all of these as a part of this life. Acceptance does seem to come a lot easier these days, I've definitely noticed that.

The majority of my friends are also turning 30 this year and we are all experiencing it on some level so it's a huge relief to know it's normal to feel this way.

So now I'm 30. I'm luckier than many with what I have, and what I don't have well it's only a matter of time. I feel hopeful, I feel grateful, and I'm genuinely excited about what's next.

I saw a great quote from Steve Jobs that pretty much sums up the mindset of the newly 30 me:

"Stay hungry, stay foolish - and try to always put your keys in the same place."

You know, on account of us being old now.



xxs